What's My Problem?

I was filling out the new patient paperwork for my doc appt. on Thursday, and one of the first questions was, "If you have a problem, please describe it. What is it? How long have you had it?" I totally faltered. I didn't know how to answer that question. Or maybe rather, I didn't know how to answer that question in the one inch of space they gave me.

What I wanted to say is that I'm not pregnant. That is my problem. At the beginning of May, I took my last BCP. TH and I were fairly careful the next three months, per doctor's orders, with him begrudgingly using a condom (in reality, he fought me tooth and nail the entire three months about it...one of his finer moments). July hits and we're both excited to make a baby (and TH is double excited to be rid of the condom). I knew it didn't happen immediately for everyone. It didn't for us. I was disappointed. The next month we had sex every day for like 10 days. Another no. I started charting. I had a clear thermal shift. I am ovulating. TH got a SA (for past medical history reasons)--not outstanding numbers, but not low enough to "worry about." We figured we both worked fine. Another no. I used OPKs--two strong smiley faces coupled with beautiful thermal shift. Another no. Best thermal shift yet, and finally some EWCM. Another no.

My problem is that I called my doctor's nurse and she said I should start charting to make sure that I'm ovulating. I told her I was charting. I am ovulating. We have had perfect timing. I told her I wanted to come in to make sure that everything really was in working order. Why assume it is? Why suffer through months of heartbreak only to find out a year later something was wrong, something that could be addressed? She told me the doctor wouldn't see me. That if I wasn't pregnant by February (my annual), the doc would start infertility treatment. What? Why would you jump to that if we haven't even made sure everything is ok? Why wouldn't you talk to me about testing first? I found a new doctor.

My problem is that TH's urologist wants to put him on Clomid. Huh? I thought Clomid was for women? My problem is that I don't have a doctor I can talk to about this.

My problem is that it's been six months. Not six months of random sex with TH whenever we get the mood. Not six months of just pulling the goalie and seeing what happens. Six months of actively, aggressively TTC. Actually TRYING to conceive. Not just lucking into it. And everything I've read about it, including in TCOYF, the be-all-end-all of getting pregnant, has said if you are charting and ovulating and have perfect timing, etc., and you aren't pregnant in 4-6 months, go see a doctor.

My problem is that I need to know that my body is ready to get and be pregnant. That my body is doing everything it should to get and be pregnant. That TH's counts are high enough to get me pregnant. If that's the case, we'll go on our merry way (thank god baby-making is freaking awesomely fun, right?) and keep at it (literally). But I want to make sure. I want to know there's a hope of success on our own. If not, why the hell are we wasting our time?

Oh, and my problem is also that y'all are hella busy. I want this guy to be my doctor. I've heard he's the best there is, and right now, I need a doctor who I feel is in my corner, a doctor who will not brush me off, a doctor who will talk to me and support me and be an advocate for my journey. And he has a 4-month wait to get in to see him. So I took the first appointment with the NP that I could get so that I could make sure I could get in for my annual in Feb. My problem is that in order for y'all to be a part of this process, I have to get the ball rolling now.

My problem is that I don't know if there is a problem at all. That's what I want YOU to tell me.

Obviously I couldn't say all that. So I left it at:

"Trying to conceive 6 months. Actively charting, using OPKs, etc. Husband has borderline SA results."

On paper, it didn't look like all that much of a problem at all.