Eyes Up Here, Dude

So Thursday night we had TH's company Christmas party at a restaurant downtown. I hadn't eaten anything since noon, and we got down there just after 8. The first thing we were told was that the open bar only lasted until dinner was served, so we hightailed it to the bar for our free booze!

So was we were standing around making small talk, one of TH's coworkers we hung out with a fair amount at the last company gathering in Cancun but who has since quit the company to go back to school saw us across the "circle." Technically, because we were standing on the same side of the circle as him, he only saw our faces.

Now picture this: he actually stepped backwards, out of the circle, and quickly but obviously checked out my stomach.

W.T.F.

I could only think of two possibilities: (1) TH had told him about the baby-making plans and he was looking for a bump, or (2) he saw how round my face has gotten compared to the last time we hung out (which, for the record, was between an Olympic-distance and a half-ironman triathlon, so I was in...different...shape) and was looking to see how fat I've gotten.

Neither of those are good scenarios for my mental health. 10 minutes later, the entire shaker of Mexican martini (with the good tequila too, not the cheap stuff--hey it was free!) was gone and I was headed back to the bar for my second shaker full.

Let's recap. Haven't eaten in more than 8 hours. Not a big drinker anymore. Chugged a shaker full of top-shelf tequila in 10 minutes and got about half-way through a second.

Needless to say, I ended up shnockered. As for how the rest of the evening went, let's just say if we end up pregnant this cycle, we won't be telling junior where he or she was conceived.

Happy Holidays!