24-Week Pics

Best shot of a profile she would let us have...

Smile Baby Girl!

10 tiny toes...

Flexing for the camera...

Exasperated, holding her head in her hands...

...and finally, complete facial hide. No more pictures, mom!!!

Little Stinker

I don't even know if "Little Stinker" is accurate . . . it may be more accurate to call you "pretty big stinker" or "Where the heck did you get those long legs from?!?! stinker."

Our appointment this morning was a tumult of emotions. When we got there, we found out they were having technical problems and couldn't log onto their computer system. We waited. They fixed it. Then when they brought us back to our u/s room, the tech told us regretfully that their recording machine was broken. Our 45-minute long, partly 3D ultrasound would not, in fact, be recorded for us to watch forever. I reminded myself to keep perspective--we were there to make sure you were healthy, not to get a movie. Then the tech said they would give us another 30-minute scan + 3D for free to make up for it! Then you were there, on screen, wiggling around like you do, and my spirits soared, my thoughts quieted. There you were, perfect in every measurement, healthy, thriving. Big. Head down. Face buried somewhere in my uterine wall. Absolutely uncooperative for any kind of shot of your adorable profile. You didn't like the tech pushing in on my tummy a little, trying to get the right angle for her measurement. You made it harder and harder for her, until the end, when she flipped on her 3D view. You put your hands up in front of your face in utter protest, as if exasperated with the entire experience, as if saying "I DEFY you! You will NOT get a picture of me!" We have 3D pictures of you hiding from us. Stinker.

We found out you are still measuring well ahead of your due date. I know you are an overachiever, just like your momma, but you have to learn to temper that ambition with sensibility and compassion. As in, please be sensible and have some compassion on me. Your legs are measuring almost TWO WEEKS ahead! Where did you get those long legs, girl??

Later, at the nurse's visit, she mentioned I should keep my mind open to the possibility of a c-section. This really shook my view of how my labor and delivery would go. I have always believed I am built to have babies. And quite frankly, I was looking forward to the challenge of giving birth. I never thought something might happen to make that less likely. So I spent today reminding myself why, ultimately, the method of delivery isn't as important as the result of delivery--you, happy, healthy, here with your dad and me. And you spent the day wiggling and kicking up a storm, partly chastising me for your morning poking and prodding, but partly reminding me that you're in there, happy, healthy, and the rest of my worries just don't matter as much as I think they do.

So, the result is that we're sticking with our birthing class as planned, keeping our positive attitude about what it's going to be like, and remembering to keep an open mind to all possibilities.

And scheduling another u/s.

And hoping you're not so shy next time around.

And loving you endlessly.

24 weeks--milestone!

Little Alina,

Did you know that you passed a big milestone? 24 weeks!

24 weeks marks the viability threshold, the point beyond which your fragile little body has a chance of surviving outside of me. Not a great chance . . . but a chance.

(And just so that we're clear on this, no, you do not have permission to test this. You stay in there cooking and growing and developing for at least another 14 weeks, you got that?)

It is amazing to me that you are so developed that you have a shot of making it on your own. Your first step toward independence. Just as this pregnancy has been a series of reality-making moments, moments when you've become more and more real, I know that from here on out, our lives will also be marked by a series of independence-making moments, moments when you assert your own power and individuality apart from me, apart from your dad, becoming more and more your own person.

I feel like I've just tasted the first hint of a lifetime of your independence moments, and it makes our time together all that much sweeter. I know how limited it is, how fleeting the rest of the pregnancy will be, and I want you to know that I am savoring every second of it.

Your dad and I are excited to refocus on our preparations for you as we feel like we are rounding the corner on the home stretch. We ordered the chair for your room this week--a soft, squishy, rocking recliner that, when I sat it in, I could imagine sitting in with you, could imagine rocking you to sleep, could see you crawling onto my lap for story time. I knew it was the perfect chair for us! Last night your dad and I went to Target to see if we couldn't find a dresser to finish out the major furniture, and I ended up letting him talk me into starting a registry for you! We had such a great time wandering around, picking out stuff for you--toys and soft blankets and carriers that will keep you close and safe.

Tomorrow we have our next appointment for you, and it will be an exciting one! We get a 45-minute ultrasound, called a level 2 ultrasound, where we will get to see every tiny detail of your developing body . . . your brain, your kidneys, your bones, your heart . . . to make sure that you are happy and healthy and continuing to grow like a weed in there. We will also get a chance to get a sneak peek at you in 3D! I can't wait for the chance to get an idea of what you will really look like (my suspicion is that you are going to take after your dad)!

Until then, rest well sweet baby, and keep up the squirms, punches, and kicks. I love feeling you move inside me, feeling you figure out your own reality.

How far along?: 24 weeks, 2 days
Total weight gain: It's begun! That last "official" weigh-in at the doctor's showed only a +1 lb gain still, but that was more than 4 weeks ago, and I KNOW I've gained in the last month, if for no other reason than all the delicious Hawaiian food I consumed on vacation.
How big is baby?: More than a pound, and the books say she's just over a foot long from head to toe. Way to grow, baby girl!
Maternity clothes?: Yep. I am blessed to have been given TONS of cute hand-me-downs from friends and to have been spoiled by my mom on our girls weekend, so I have a great wardrobe of maternity clothes now. There is one pair of pre-pg work pants that is still working, but that's just because it can sit below my expanding belly.
Stretch marks?: Nope--my mom said she never really got any, so my fingers are crossed!
Sleep?: Still not too bad. I have to turn a lot to give my hips a rest, but I'm still able to sleep fairly well.
Best moment this week?: She really rocked and rolled after we got home from our trip and I was able to relax and stretch out on the couch a bit. It was the first time I'd seen her move across my stomach (as opposed to just a punch here and there), and TH got to feel a nice solid wallop! I think she had had enough of the cramped plane ride.
Movement?: Every day. I love it.
Food cravings?: Nope. I've got to stay on top of my water intake or I get thirsty, especially in the morning, but thankfully I've been able to continue to eat pretty healthy this entire time.
Labor signs?: Ha! No, thank goodness.
Belly button in or out?: Still in, but it's definitely on a slow march out--the bottom is slowly shallowing out and the top hangs over like a cliff.
What I miss: Being able to lean over easily and unlock TH's car door after he lets me in.
What I'm looking forward to: Seeing her for such a long time tomorrow, and in 3D!
Milestone: 24 weeks--the viability threshold!

Babymoon

Baby Girl,

We just got back from your (and our) first trip to Hawaii! It was our "babymoon," our last trip together before our life changes forever with your arrival. Traveling is very important to your dad and me, and in the 13 years we've been together, we've taken a ton of great trips. It's not that we will give up traveling once you're here, it's just that we know that we will be missing you so much when we do travel that the trips will never be the same. It was really important to us that we get in one more "just us" trip to relax, unwind, and take one more week to focus only on each other and the journey we've shared so far.

We were in Maui for about a week. Usually we are more . . . adventurous travelers. We ride horses and do ziplines and scuba dive. I couldn't do many of these types of activities on this trip because I am pregnant, so we had to figure out a different kind of vacation to enjoy . . . one a little more relaxed and laid back than we usually are. And I have to say, I loved it! Most of the days we spent lounging on the beach or discovering new snorkeling spots. While I was snorkeling, I thought about the way the water held me up, how I was suspended in it, and wondered if that was similar to your little world inside me (although I must say that I think I had the better view!).

We swam with sea turtles and saw a shark, an octopus, an eel, and more colorful fish than we could count. One of our favorite moments was snorkeling in a half-sunken crater called Molokini and floating in the middle of a giant school of fish. They weren't scared at all and surrounded me and your dad as if we were just one of their hundreds. (Our boat captain for this excursion sounded just like Charleton Heston. It's funny to think that you may never know who that is, that my reference to him might be one of those things that will make you roll your eyes and silently think how old I am.) We drove through a rain forest and hiked up to several beautiful waterfalls. It was a little rainy that day, so there was one moment when your dad was trying to help me down a short muddy hill. I slipped and ended up knocking his feet out from under him, too. He tumbled and bounced down the hill (it wasn't very high) and we were both muddy and laughing so hard that we were crying. The people around us must have thought we'd lost our minds! We discovered the world's best banana bread. Your dad got into a crowing contest with a local rooster and made friends with a couple of horses. And everywhere we were surrounded with color and beauty unlike anything we have here in Texas--purple trees and yellow flowers as big as my head, reefs and volcanic craters that boasted impossible blues and reds and oranges and whites. And that doesn't even begin to mention all the delicious dinners and great shows that we caught at sunset on one beach or another, the convertible, the music, the weather, or what a funny girl you were, resting quietly, patiently for each meal, and then, unable to contain yourself any longer, squirming excitedly as soon as you could smell the food.

Even though we were there to focus one last time on each other, everywhere we looked we were reminded of you. Parents holding their little babies in the cool ocean water. Tiny toddlers with sandy bottoms discovering the delights of sand. Little girls in adorable Hawaiian dresses with tiny flowers in their delicate hair. And every moment of our trip, with every thought of you, we were filled with a new kind of happiness, an excitement for what's to come.

And even though you dad and I will never get tired of time alone, time together, we were ready, when our trip was over and it was time to return, ready to come home and prepare for you.

Our first morning in Maui, while strolling through the cool morning sand, your dad found this shell (piece of coral?) just for you.

It's a heart. We love you and can't wait for you to be here with us. Only 16 weeks to go!

Smiles and kisses,
Mom

The Russians

I mean really, how freaking Russian can they BE??

TH is the skinny cutie-patootie on the far right. And yes, he's still skinny. And still a cutie-patootie. And yes, he's still pretty much the only one in his family who smiles.

Now y'all can see why I think his dominant genes are going to beat my recessive genes into submission.

At least it will be easy to tell who Alina takes after.

Blonde and light = me.

Dark and brooding = him. :-)

Silly Daddy

Things that have made me laugh in the last week, all courtesy of TH:

1. "Where would your hormones like to go for dinner?"

2. "Aw, you're not as big as a house! You're like a small efficiency apartment right now. Definitely past the tent stage . . . you're an efficiency now, and then you'll become a 1 bedroom, then a 2 bedroom, and then a three-two."

3. And last night, while trying to get TH to feel Ali move for the umpteenth time, I put TH hand on my stomach and put my hand on top of his to help him get the right pressure. I felt my stomach move THROUGH TH's hand, so I could not believe that he still was registering nothing. Then he says, "You gotta quit breathing!"

me: "I'm not breathing, dummy, that's HER."

TH (wide-eyed): "Seriously?!?! That little poke??? I thought that was you breathing . . . or bubbles from digesting dinner . . . I was waiting for something way bigger!"

After he thought through the logistics and physics of something as tiny as she is being felt through my placenta and stomach tissue, he finally believed me and was absolutely thrilled.

Finally, finally he felt her. Well, finally he realized what he was feeling was her. There's no telling how long he's been feeling me "breathe."

Silly Daddy.

Happy Mother's Day!

I admit: we celebrated Mother's Day this year. I know that different people have different opinions about when you actually qualify as a "mother." For some people, being a mother requires the existence of an "outside baby." My boss, for example, kept wishing me a happy "Almost Mother's Day."

TH and I talked about it, trying to define, for us, when we feel a person becomes a parent, a mother or a father. Simply the existence of an "outside baby" doesn't really do it for us. Sure there are a million things that mothers of babies and small children must do on a daily basis to care for their child that I don't have to do yet. But how does someone who just gave birth the day before Mother's Day figure into that? They haven't had to do those things either. But I don't think anyone would tell you they aren't a mother yet. And you can't say that "giving birth" is the defining moment...what about those who adopt? And what about the fact that TH is Alina's daddy? When he leans over and sings to her, or whispers to her that he loves her, that is a father talking to his daughter. She is here. She exists. Because of him. Because of me. Because we made her.

So what we settled on is this: we think a mother (or father) is created through the love she feels for her child, the constant worry she feels for his or her safety and health, and the actions she takes to make his or her life as good as it can be. This definition is broad enough to include all different kinds of mothers--those with "outside babies," those who are still pregnant, those who adopt, even those who simply play a mother's roll in the lives of those who need them. All of these women are mothers.

Yes, my Mother's Day next year will be incredibly different than the one this year. Next year I will be able to cuddle my sweet, chubby little baby, get to see her laugh, get to think about all the ways that she has changed my life, all the ways she has enriched it. But that same thing can be said of the next Mother's Day...how different it will be from the first. And of the first Mother's Day that I have two babies. And the first Mother's Day when one of my sweet little babies is out of the house on their own. And so on and so forth. All the Mother's Days from here on out will be different from the last.

And for each of them, starting this year, I am/will be a mother.

We celebrated with our mothers at home. It was a whirlwind trip--drove up on Saturday morning, drove back on Sunday afternoon. It was amusing to me how much extra gear we had to take along just for me--my body pillow, an airbed so that I had a chance of actual sleep (the in-laws have the world's hardest futon in their guest room...seriously, it's like sleeping on a desk), etc. I guess that is just training for the production it will be to actually travel with a baby!

We had Mother's Day lunch at my parents house, with a guest list that included my sister, my brother, my sister-in-law, my niece, my brother-in-law, my cousin, my grandmother, TH's parents, and TH's grandparents! It was a big, loud, fun, wonderful crowd. I got lots of "Holy cow you got big!" and "Are you having twins?" comments, which I definitely could have lived without. But my dad got all teary every time he looked at me and told me constantly how beautiful I was, and my grandmother kept telling me that I had the "glow," so that helped even things out.

Here I am on my first Mother's Day.


Ali, I can't even tell you how excited everyone is about you! You were the belle of the ball, and you aren't even here yet. Thank you for every little wiggle you gave me yesterday, every beat of your heart--they were your gifts to me on Mother's Day, and I couldn't imagine anything better.

Do a Little Dance...

Thus far, TH has kind of missed out on the whole "baby moving in my belly" phenomenon. There was that one time he thought he may have felt her, but other than that, no matter how long he has his hand on my stomach, and no matter how many times she bumps around in there saying hello to her daddy's warmth, he still hasn't really, truly FELT her...or seen her...the way I have.

Yesterday he picked me up for lunch (because Ali NEEDED a mexican pizza from Taco Bell) and he ran by Jimmy John's for his own lunch on the way (weird Russian doesn't like the Bell). While he was in getting his sandwich, Ali got so excited by her imminent date with the beany-meaty-cheesy deliciousness that she started dancing around in earnest. Several times while he was inside she gave a solid wallop to my stomach, making it visibly move. I will never get tired of seeing that! I was still staring, entralled, at my round belly when TH got back into the car, and I quietly told him to just watch...and to be patient (I think part of the problem is that he thinks my stomach will bounce around as if she had a pogo stick in there, boing-boing-boing-boing!).

After only about 10 seconds, she gave a mild little punch (as if to say, "hurry up dad! I'm hungry!"), and even though it wasn't as dramatic as it had been while he was inside, my stomach twitched! TH gasped and grinned from ear to ear, and then bent over and kissed my tummy and said hi to his daughter. I was so happy he finally got to see a little something concrete. Now if we can just get him to feel her!

Yesterday we also got this funny video from my cousin. I asked TH what we could do to make sure Ali never ever ever does anything like this.

He said pretty much all we can do it carry a video camera on us at all times and make sure we record the hilariousness for posterity.

Crib...Check!

After a month of it sitting in its box in our garage, TH and I finally put together our crib. Yay! It wasn't hard at all, and it made us both giddy with the additional level of reality it has brought to this pregnancy.

Now it's not just "We're having a baby," it's "We're having a baby not too long from now!"

AW: Two-Post Monday!

I saw her! From the outside! My stomach moved!

Baby girl pretty much responds to any food (must take after her mom here)--doesn't have to be sweet or spicy or anything. About 30-60 minutes after I eat, she gets to bopping around in there. Well, I had my afternoon snack today (salad with mushrooms and cherry tomatoes), and sure enough about 30 minutes later, she started doing her thing. I noticed that I could feel her from the inside very distinctly--not the usual swirls and squirms that I am used to by now. So I put my hand where she was bumping most often, and I clearly felt her! Wow!

And then, the best part is that I moved my hand and just sat and stared at my belly. I'm wearing a jersey knit sundress today, so the fabric is thin and clingy enough to clearly show anything that may be happening. I only had to wait about 20 seconds before boom! A jump!

It was amazing. A little bit like that scene in Alien where the alien pops out of that guys stomach, but absolutely amazing. It was one of those moments I've talked about before, where she becomes a little bit more real. She's not just a picture on a screen anymore, not just squirmy feelings in my gut. She manifested herself in the outside world. She moved me.

I am so sorry TH wasn't here to witness this. I can only imagine the look of delight and amazement that would have covered his face. I know that he will have lots of chances in the future to feel her dance and kick around in there, but I still wish he had been here for this moment, this chance.

And I feel so special to have shared it with her. Our moment. Something that was just between us, and no one else in the world.

Baby girl, you amaze me.

Nursery Progress (Finally!)

Over the weekend we had some good friends over for dinner. One of the couples are masters of home renovations and have installed chair rails before. I may have mentioned our continuing defeat at the hands of the chair rails, and they may have just happened to bring their miter saw...and finishing nails...

...Ok, really we just shanghai-d the guys into working on the nursery while the ladies and kiddos took a walk down to the park. But we DID feed them a full-course dinner, including deviled eggs, chicken ka-bobs, green beans, baked potatoes, boiled sweet corn, salad, and hot cookies right out of the oven for their hard work. I know the wives read this blog--make sure your husbands know how much TH and I appreciate their help!! I told TH it was like an old-fashioned barn raising (and then had to explain to him what an old-fashioned barn raising was). We are so thankful and blessed to be part of such a wonderful community of friends!!

So, here's the new-and-improved nursery, with the chair rails installed! (Sorry for the relatively low light in the picture...)

Now we can get to work putting the crib together (which has been sitting in our garage in its box for the last month or so) and it will start to look like a real nursery!! We are having a bit of a tough time finding furniture that we (a) like and (b) don't have to pay a small fortune for, as well as a glider for me. I have faith that it will all come together in time, though...we still have a lot of time (I have decided I can say that until we are under the one-month-left mark).

We have, however, had some luck with decor. My mom and I picked up this sign on our trip to Fredricksburg a couple of weeks ago. It says "Star Light, Star Bright" and even has little blue and white stars on it! Perfect!!
And TH and I scored some adorable, brightly colored paper daisies (at Ashley Furniture of all places...random!) that were 50% off. I haven't decided if we're going to hand them over her crib, her dressing table, in the corner, or just hang them on the wall, but I LOVE them!

Our final recent score was at the Pottery Barn Outlet last weekend. We found the "Star light, star bright" poem in white-lettered wall decals. It's a discontinued item, so we scored it for super cheap! We haven't quite figured out how we're going to use it yet, but it was too perfect to pass up.

Baby girl's room is slowly but surely coming together! Yay for progress!