Oi, sorry for the super bummer post below. I had a cloud over me the last few days, and the best way I know of to get rid of it is to write about it. It's as if I take the filth from my mind and put it down "on paper" (on the interwebz) and it makes me feel so much better.
An email from a very good friend helped me think of things a different, better way. Yes, I'm the last one left in this stupid waiting room. Like it or not, once your name is called, you have no choice but to go through those doors and leave those of us behind who are still waiting. C'est la vie. But rather than thinking about the emptiness in the room with me, the emptiness where once thirteen other bodies filled the space, I found a much better way to approach this situation:
There are thirteen (at least!) women on the other side of that door who are waiting for me. Thirteen women who keep their eyes trained on the door, thirteen women who will all cheer and scream and clap and welcome me when it's my turn. Thirteen women who may have moved on but who are still thinking of me and looking forward to the day I get to join their ranks.
And that is a very comforting, wonderful feeling.
If you're one of those women, thank you for your friendship and your hope and your prayers and your patience. I hope I'm not too far behind!
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3 comments:
That is a PERFECT way to look at it! God bless her - she said it better than anyone could have. There ARE people waiting on the other side for you who pray and pray and hope for you daily. Remember that some of us still consider ourselves only just barely through that doorway, with one foot still in the room with you. Some of us will never be able to completely leave that room - knowing what happened there, the innocence we left in there. I guess that may not help your metaphor very much, but I just want you to know that you're not alone. {{Hugs}}
you've got that right! you'll have waaay more than thirteen women (both pg and otherwise) celebrating with you.
Aww, this post made me cry. You are so right (As is MC) there are so many people waiting and praying for you.
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