I is for Integrity

"Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not." --Oprah Winfrey

"Honesty is doing the right thing when others are watching. Integrity is doing the right thing even if nobody is watching."

There are many, many different sayings about integrity, but they all have the same general gist. Integrity is something private, something personal. Integrity is doing the right thing simply because it IS the right thing. Not for personal gain. Not for recognition. Just because it's the right thing to do.

This is hard. HARD.

It also begs the question, why?? Why do something hard, something that might very well set you back, simply because you "should," even when no one will ever know the difference?

There's not an easy answer to this question.

The first thing you have to consider is this "right vs wrong" business, as in "doing the right thing." Right according to whom? You might agree with the other millions of people on the planet and say "God," but I have a slightly different take on it. I say that it is "right" according to you.

Let's take a step back. The first thing you have to consider is what your goal is. Take something basic like a road trip: are you trying to get to California or Florida? If you're trying to get to California, heading east from Texas is the "wrong" direction. But if your goal is to get to Florida, that same action is now considered "right." The same logic applies to every other action as well. If your goal is to become the world's greatest con-artist, certain actions will be "right" to get you there. Conversely, if your goal is to become the next Mother Teresa, a different set of actions will be "right." If your goal is to follow a religious doctrine, there will be one prescribed set of "right" actions. And so on.

So, the first step is knowing what your goal is. Knowing who you are. Knowing who you want to be. Because you get to decide that, remember? Who you want to be. It's up to you.

The second step is realizing that it's your actions, not your words, that define you. You can talk until you're blue in the face, but until you start behaving in a way that demonstrates, that backs up, your actions, you're not actually creating that reality. You're just talking about it. In fact, if your behavior does NOT back up your words, then you are in fact creating a different reality, quite possibly the opposite of the one you say you are trying to achieve. If we use our road trip example, if you say you are trying to get to Florida, even if you tell any soul within a 10-mile radius who will listen that you are trying to get to Florida, but you head toward California instead, or even just sit there and talk about Florida but never actually move towards it . . . then the reality that you've created with your actions is that you're NOT actually trying to get to Florida.

In my opinion, in my life, I've decided that I want to be an honest, loving individual who celebrates life and who helps others have the same opportunity. That's step one. Step two is acting in such a way that reinforces, that creates, this reality.

And this is where integrity comes in.

It's one thing to tell the truth, to return the lost item, to give back the thing that doesn't belong to you when someone confronts you about these things. And that behavior is an important first step! That goes back to our honesty talk. But it's another thing altogether to tell the truth, return the lost item, or give back the thing that doesn't belong to you when no one confronts you, when really no one even knows but you. But remember: it's your actions that ultimately define you, that ultimately create your reality. If you are serious about your goal, whatever goal that may be, your actions must stay true to that goal no matter what.

Be the person you want to be. It is as simple, and as difficult, as that.

And in order to do that, in order to truly create that reality, to truly BE that person, you must act, you must live, with integrity.