14 Days to Go

38 weeks pregnant. Only 14 days to go.

This whole pregnancy I've heard how "time flies until the end . . . then it slows back down and just crawls."

Looking at my ticker, seeing "only 14 days to go!" makes me disagree. Holy moly. 14 days. Maybe less. But no more than 21. And then I'll have a baby. The thought takes my breath away. Makes my stomach erupt with butterflies.

It's a hard thing to wrap my mind around!

And it certainly doesn't seem like it's dragging on forever. These last few weeks have gone so quickly. And I can only imagine that the next two will as well. Two weeks. 14 days.

We had our weekly appointment this morning, and our doctor was unfortunately in an emergency c-section of twins, so we met with the NP instead. After feeling so good all week (except for that one little bout of "stress cramps," I felt much better last week than I did the week before), I figured I wouldn't have made much progress. I was right. Still at "about 1 cm," still at "about 10%." When they looked at my placenta, there were no calcification spots, which is what a normal placenta starts to look like around this time . . . it starts to break down. It's part of what happens when your body is "done" being pregnant. Nope. My placenta is "beautiful" apparently.

So I'm growing a big baby in a uterus that is so comfortable being pregnant that it's not really doing anything to suggest that it realizes it is supposed to NOT be pregnant sometime soon.

Makes me wonder who's going to win this waiting game: the big kid or the comfortable uterus.

They have 14 days . . . 21 max . . . to figure it out.

In other news, we are ready. I know I've said that before, but I guess we're "more ready" now. Our pack-and-play is assembled and waiting in our bedroom. All her blankets and hand-me-down clothes are washed and put away. I bought some nursing tanks. We are packing our hospital bag today. Any more preparation we get done from here on out is just piddling details, things that CAN be done but don't HAVE to be done before she can make her appearance. Things like boiling bottles. Putting batteries in her monitor. Getting a clock/CD player for her room.

All those details don't really mean so much any more. They're just things to do. The closest things I can do if I can't actually have her yet. Things that keep me distracted, when all I really want is to hold her to my chest, stroke her sweet arms, and still her cries with the sound of my beating heart and the warmth of my body.

I know once labor starts, the reality of the monumental task before me, the thing I have to get through before I can actually meet her, will come crashing down on me like a wave, and I will feel overwhelmed and anxious, perhaps even fearful of the imminent challenge before me. But for now, in my dreams, I skip that part and I think only of holding her.

I am thankful for my job, for our busy lives. Perhaps those are the only things that are keeping me distracted, the only things that have made, are making, will continue to make, time pass quickly.

14 days. I can't wait.

How far along?: 38 weeks
Total weight gain: 22 lbs
How big is baby?: 8.5 lbs
Maternity clothes?: I can count how many I still find comfortable and appealing without even having to use my toes.
Stretch marks?: Not that I can tell . . . maybe they're hiding somewhere?
Sleep?: It's actually been better lately. I'm falling asleep fast and sleeping heavily. I am so thankful for that while it lasts!
Best moment this week?: Every moment is wonderful. I know our time together is limited now, so I'm just enjoying every movement, every push, and thinking about how soon it will be until I get to meet her.
Movement?: I can literally almost see body parts now. When she does get to moving around, my belly rocks and rolls with the strength of her movement. I'm so proud of my strong girl--I hope she's still comfortable in there!
Food cravings?: Nope. Since she's dropped, my stomach once again has room for more normal-sized meals. She is a BIG fan of Cinnamon Toast Crunch as a sweet treat.
Labor signs?: Not really anything new. Still 1-ish cm. Still 10%-ish effaced. The strange "stress cramps" over the weekend were the closest thing I can think of to actual labor signs, and they were only timable for about 30-40 minutes. Now they come and go in random sneak attacks that make me sharply mutter "ow!" before they leave again just as quickly.
Belly button in or out?: Still in . . .
What I miss: Having a wardrobe full of clothes that fit.
What I'm looking forward to: Meeting my daughter!
Milestone: 38 weeks!