G is for Gratitude

It is easy to complain.

There will always be things for you to complain about. Things that don't go your way. Things that seem unfair. Things that are out of your control. And there's something about human nature that makes complaining satisfying. People often use it as a way of bonding. The phrase, "misery loves company" . . . there's something to that. Not only do people who are upset want others to understand their frustration, their victimization, but others, too, want to offer support, want to participate, want to feel equally offended and victimized. Complaining is a socializing activity.

The bad thing about this is that, as we've talked about before, your attitude manifests itself in your life. If you build a life of complaint, of dissatisfaction, of commiseration, you will create a reality ruled by those emotions. You will find a way to complain about everything, to be dissatisfied with everything. It's kind of like sliding down a hill--it's easy to do, but the more you do it, the lower you get and the more accustomed you get to sliding rather than climbing.

There is an alternative to complaint. And remarkably, it too is a habit that can come as naturally to you as complaining. All it takes it practice. That alternative is gratitude.

Be grateful. Be grateful for everything in your life: big, small, good, bad, easy, hard, all of it.

Why do this? Why put forth the effort to be grateful when the alternative, complaint, comes so naturally? Easy. You have one shot at life, and you can make your experience here whatever you want it to be. It can be filled with dissatisfaction. Or, it can be filled with satisfaction. You can reach the end of your days and feel like you never quite got what you wanted or deserved, or you can reach the end of your days fulfilled, content.

Seems like an easy choice, right? And that's the amazing thing! It IS an easy choice!

When you choose to respond to life gratefully, you choose to create a life for yourself that is satisfying and filled with blessings. That's not to say that your life will be easy, or that you will never face challenges or disappointments. It's won't be, and you will. But--and here's the key--be grateful for the challenges, for the disappointments, too.

Every challenge you face, every disappointment, every tear, every experience, good OR bad, brings something into your life, teaches you something, changes you. Be grateful for those experiences and the lessons you can take from them, for they are what make you human. The most wonderful lessons in life--compassion, patience, perseverance, joy, love--they are ALL learned from facing challenges. If you don't believe me, think about joy. How will you ever know what true joy is, the unbridled elation, unless you have also known the lack of that joy, the frustration, the tears? As Emily Dickinson put it, it is only those who have been defeated who truly understand the triumph, the joy, of victory.

Life offers no guarantees. You are not entitled to anything, as much as you want to believe that you are. Everything that comes to you is a gift, whether you recognize it as such or not. Be thankful for what you have. Be grateful for what you have earned and for what you have been given, unearned. It is these gifts that fill your life, that define your life. The literal gifts, the tangible gifts, and those gifts that are harder to appreciate . . . sometimes even harder to notice at all. Be grateful for both the busy afternoon and the quiet afternoon. For time. For beauty. For adventure. For opportunity. And yes, for challenges, frustrations, and tears. Each of these enriches your life in some way.

Every night when I lay down to sleep, I say my prayers. They aren't the typical prayers you might expect, prayers of supplication, prayers FOR something. I don't believe in a God who withholds things until you ask for them.

My prayers, uttered only within the quiet of my mind, start like this: Dear God, thank you for all the wonderful things you have given me today.

And then I think about the day and thank God for each and every event, good or bad. Regardless of how the day went, regardless of my triumphs and failures, joys and frustrations, smiles and tears, I end the day with gratitude for them all.

For it is only in expressing sincere gratitude that you can come to find the blessing, the benefit, of everything.