I had originally planned for H to be Health, Happiness, and Humor, a powerful and interdependent triad of life pillars. But then you daddy reminded me of Honesty. And he was right. Honesty is more important. He knows me better than I know myself.
There's really not all that much to say about honesty. It is perfect in its simplicity and yet can take a lifetime of work to perfect.
In short, be honest. Be a person your friends can trust. Be a woman who can be relied on.
White lies are the easiest, the most alluring pitfall to honesty. In most cases, you can convince yourself that telling the white lie is better for all involved, that you are being compassionate by sparing someone the truth. The problem is that it is a short, easy step from white lies to gray lies, the lies that you convince yourself are still fine to tell, mostly to keep yourself out of trouble. You lie to save others from trouble, you think, don't you deserve the same benefit? Though your soul can tell the difference, and there is always, ALWAYS the feeling of remorse buried somewhere within (after all, if you are having to lie about something, should you have really done it in the first place?), gray lies are the foggy bogs you can lose yourself in. And then you fall. Into the black lies. The thick inky darkness that you can no longer save yourself from. Black lies are like an addiction. They are like a parasite that feeds off of you that you cannot rid yourself of without cutting into your life like a surgeon. You have to bleed yourself to save yourself from black lies.
And remember, it all started with little, innocent white lies.
Again, it's simple. Value others enough to be honest. Honesty is about respect, respect for others and respect for yourself. It takes a lot of strength to be honest, and very few people ever master the art 100%.
Know the dangers of dishonesty. Know that you can lose yourself. Know that the damage you do with a lie can take years to repair, that the cracks that result from a lie can sometimes never be repaired at all.
Trust is a delicate thing, and yet there will be times when all you have left is trust, trust in the people you love, the people who love you. In those times, that trust must be strong enough to sustain you, to give you a life line through troubling or disastrous events.
Know this all and prepare for it. Be honest and you will know yourself. Be honest and others will know you. Be honest and you will have the foundation of trust you need to support you, to support those you love, when you, when they, need it most.
Just be honest.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Wait, Wha--??
This was in my weekly pregnancy email this morning:
At Week 33, Your Baby Could Come at Any Moment!
Since more than half of all babies come early, yours could come at any time now!
Ummm...excuse me??? I mean, I know I'm getting close, but ANY TIME NOW?? It's not that I can't wait to have Alina here, safe, healthy, snuggled in my arms . . . it's that I still need those 6ish weeks I have left to prepare myself, my house, my car, my life, for the arrival of baby girl.
I guess I'd better get a move on, huh?
Another sign that it's getting close: today is the last Monday I will work until December.
That's right. I am taking off Mondays in August to give myself a little downtime . . . as TH put it, "quite possibly the last me-time" I'm going to get for the next 25 years. Holy hell.
I can hear "The Final Countdown" beginning it's first distinctive notes in the soundtrack of my life!
At Week 33, Your Baby Could Come at Any Moment!
Since more than half of all babies come early, yours could come at any time now!
Ummm...excuse me??? I mean, I know I'm getting close, but ANY TIME NOW?? It's not that I can't wait to have Alina here, safe, healthy, snuggled in my arms . . . it's that I still need those 6ish weeks I have left to prepare myself, my house, my car, my life, for the arrival of baby girl.
I guess I'd better get a move on, huh?
Another sign that it's getting close: today is the last Monday I will work until December.
I can hear "The Final Countdown" beginning it's first distinctive notes in the soundtrack of my life!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
G is for Gratitude
It is easy to complain.
There will always be things for you to complain about. Things that don't go your way. Things that seem unfair. Things that are out of your control. And there's something about human nature that makes complaining satisfying. People often use it as a way of bonding. The phrase, "misery loves company" . . . there's something to that. Not only do people who are upset want others to understand their frustration, their victimization, but others, too, want to offer support, want to participate, want to feel equally offended and victimized. Complaining is a socializing activity.
The bad thing about this is that, as we've talked about before, your attitude manifests itself in your life. If you build a life of complaint, of dissatisfaction, of commiseration, you will create a reality ruled by those emotions. You will find a way to complain about everything, to be dissatisfied with everything. It's kind of like sliding down a hill--it's easy to do, but the more you do it, the lower you get and the more accustomed you get to sliding rather than climbing.
There is an alternative to complaint. And remarkably, it too is a habit that can come as naturally to you as complaining. All it takes it practice. That alternative is gratitude.
Be grateful. Be grateful for everything in your life: big, small, good, bad, easy, hard, all of it.
Why do this? Why put forth the effort to be grateful when the alternative, complaint, comes so naturally? Easy. You have one shot at life, and you can make your experience here whatever you want it to be. It can be filled with dissatisfaction. Or, it can be filled with satisfaction. You can reach the end of your days and feel like you never quite got what you wanted or deserved, or you can reach the end of your days fulfilled, content.
Seems like an easy choice, right? And that's the amazing thing! It IS an easy choice!
When you choose to respond to life gratefully, you choose to create a life for yourself that is satisfying and filled with blessings. That's not to say that your life will be easy, or that you will never face challenges or disappointments. It's won't be, and you will. But--and here's the key--be grateful for the challenges, for the disappointments, too.
Every challenge you face, every disappointment, every tear, every experience, good OR bad, brings something into your life, teaches you something, changes you. Be grateful for those experiences and the lessons you can take from them, for they are what make you human. The most wonderful lessons in life--compassion, patience, perseverance, joy, love--they are ALL learned from facing challenges. If you don't believe me, think about joy. How will you ever know what true joy is, the unbridled elation, unless you have also known the lack of that joy, the frustration, the tears? As Emily Dickinson put it, it is only those who have been defeated who truly understand the triumph, the joy, of victory.
Life offers no guarantees. You are not entitled to anything, as much as you want to believe that you are. Everything that comes to you is a gift, whether you recognize it as such or not. Be thankful for what you have. Be grateful for what you have earned and for what you have been given, unearned. It is these gifts that fill your life, that define your life. The literal gifts, the tangible gifts, and those gifts that are harder to appreciate . . . sometimes even harder to notice at all. Be grateful for both the busy afternoon and the quiet afternoon. For time. For beauty. For adventure. For opportunity. And yes, for challenges, frustrations, and tears. Each of these enriches your life in some way.
Every night when I lay down to sleep, I say my prayers. They aren't the typical prayers you might expect, prayers of supplication, prayers FOR something. I don't believe in a God who withholds things until you ask for them.
My prayers, uttered only within the quiet of my mind, start like this: Dear God, thank you for all the wonderful things you have given me today.
And then I think about the day and thank God for each and every event, good or bad. Regardless of how the day went, regardless of my triumphs and failures, joys and frustrations, smiles and tears, I end the day with gratitude for them all.
For it is only in expressing sincere gratitude that you can come to find the blessing, the benefit, of everything.
There will always be things for you to complain about. Things that don't go your way. Things that seem unfair. Things that are out of your control. And there's something about human nature that makes complaining satisfying. People often use it as a way of bonding. The phrase, "misery loves company" . . . there's something to that. Not only do people who are upset want others to understand their frustration, their victimization, but others, too, want to offer support, want to participate, want to feel equally offended and victimized. Complaining is a socializing activity.
The bad thing about this is that, as we've talked about before, your attitude manifests itself in your life. If you build a life of complaint, of dissatisfaction, of commiseration, you will create a reality ruled by those emotions. You will find a way to complain about everything, to be dissatisfied with everything. It's kind of like sliding down a hill--it's easy to do, but the more you do it, the lower you get and the more accustomed you get to sliding rather than climbing.
There is an alternative to complaint. And remarkably, it too is a habit that can come as naturally to you as complaining. All it takes it practice. That alternative is gratitude.
Be grateful. Be grateful for everything in your life: big, small, good, bad, easy, hard, all of it.
Why do this? Why put forth the effort to be grateful when the alternative, complaint, comes so naturally? Easy. You have one shot at life, and you can make your experience here whatever you want it to be. It can be filled with dissatisfaction. Or, it can be filled with satisfaction. You can reach the end of your days and feel like you never quite got what you wanted or deserved, or you can reach the end of your days fulfilled, content.
Seems like an easy choice, right? And that's the amazing thing! It IS an easy choice!
When you choose to respond to life gratefully, you choose to create a life for yourself that is satisfying and filled with blessings. That's not to say that your life will be easy, or that you will never face challenges or disappointments. It's won't be, and you will. But--and here's the key--be grateful for the challenges, for the disappointments, too.
Every challenge you face, every disappointment, every tear, every experience, good OR bad, brings something into your life, teaches you something, changes you. Be grateful for those experiences and the lessons you can take from them, for they are what make you human. The most wonderful lessons in life--compassion, patience, perseverance, joy, love--they are ALL learned from facing challenges. If you don't believe me, think about joy. How will you ever know what true joy is, the unbridled elation, unless you have also known the lack of that joy, the frustration, the tears? As Emily Dickinson put it, it is only those who have been defeated who truly understand the triumph, the joy, of victory.
Life offers no guarantees. You are not entitled to anything, as much as you want to believe that you are. Everything that comes to you is a gift, whether you recognize it as such or not. Be thankful for what you have. Be grateful for what you have earned and for what you have been given, unearned. It is these gifts that fill your life, that define your life. The literal gifts, the tangible gifts, and those gifts that are harder to appreciate . . . sometimes even harder to notice at all. Be grateful for both the busy afternoon and the quiet afternoon. For time. For beauty. For adventure. For opportunity. And yes, for challenges, frustrations, and tears. Each of these enriches your life in some way.
Every night when I lay down to sleep, I say my prayers. They aren't the typical prayers you might expect, prayers of supplication, prayers FOR something. I don't believe in a God who withholds things until you ask for them.
My prayers, uttered only within the quiet of my mind, start like this: Dear God, thank you for all the wonderful things you have given me today.
And then I think about the day and thank God for each and every event, good or bad. Regardless of how the day went, regardless of my triumphs and failures, joys and frustrations, smiles and tears, I end the day with gratitude for them all.
For it is only in expressing sincere gratitude that you can come to find the blessing, the benefit, of everything.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
The Bump
No, not the big bump that is my stomach.
The little bump.
The one that pushes my stomach out,
halfway between my bellybutton and ribs.
The one that wiggles back and forth.
That pushes and withdraws.
That slides to the right and left.
The one that makes me sit for hours
with my hand on my stomach
and a small, private smile on my face.
Is it your head, baby girl?
Am I cradling your thoughts, your dreams,
your delicate hair?
Or is it your tooshie?
Am I already holding your cute bottom,
that fits so perfectly into my cupped hand?
Being able to cradle your sweet body in mine,
my hands already know your perfect curves.
You have never seemed more real to me.
Never more precious.
The little bump.
The one that pushes my stomach out,
halfway between my bellybutton and ribs.
The one that wiggles back and forth.
That pushes and withdraws.
That slides to the right and left.
The one that makes me sit for hours
with my hand on my stomach
and a small, private smile on my face.
Is it your head, baby girl?
Am I cradling your thoughts, your dreams,
your delicate hair?
Or is it your tooshie?
Am I already holding your cute bottom,
that fits so perfectly into my cupped hand?
Being able to cradle your sweet body in mine,
my hands already know your perfect curves.
You have never seemed more real to me.
Never more precious.
Monday, July 20, 2009
32 Weeks
In the beginning, everyone told me how fast this pregnancy would go. They were wrong . . . the first trimester d-r-a-g-g-e-d by, each day filled with worry and hope and counting the days and minutes until my next appointment, my next reassurance that everything was fine.
Then I heard that time would slow down in the third trimester, until every day, every moment stretched to eternity, waiting, wondering when labor would start, when baby would come and change our lives forever. Wrong again. If anything, time has certainly sped up! I cannot believe I am 32 weeks pregnant today! I cannot believe we only have 8 weeks to go until baby girl's official due date. It seems like we still have so many little details to take care of, and so little time, on a day-to-day basis, in which to take care of them. I'm sure our busy schedule has a great deal to do with how quickly time is traipsing along--each day filled to the brink with work and chores and travel and guests and showers and don't-forget-our-baby-to-do-list! (I can honestly say that, as difficult as it has been in the last couple of weeks keeping up with our own lives, I would MUCH rather have it be this way than the alternative . . . I tend to go CRAZY when there's nothing to do!)
Over the weekend I took my last trip home before baby girl makes her appearance. It was a strange feeling, driving back home, the same drive I've made a million times all through college and grad school and the rest of my 20s; sleeping in the bed I've slept in since 8th grade; getting ready in the bathroom I got ready for homecoming and prom in; and knowing it was the last time I would ever be in these areas without a daughter, seeing the big, round proof of her in the mirror I used to look into to get ready for dates with her daddy.
My mom's two best friends hosted a shower for us, and it was gorgeous! These ladies are decorating and crafting extraordinaires, and no detail was missed. There were tiny rubber duckies with pink bonnets tucked into flower arrangements, diaper cakes, name tags with little pink ribbons glued to the corner of each one, a clothes line with various baby goods strung across the fireplace (including an adorable sparkly pink tu-tu and a neon-green plastic baseball bat . . . the first time someone has correctly acknowledged the dichotomy that will be Ali!), a "flower arrangement" that was actually diapers and socks and washclothes, and a table full of delectable food, including cupcakes with pink sprinkles, finger sandwiches, veggies, fruit, cheese, chips, crackers, the works! I was totally blown away by their preparations and so touched that they would go through so much for our sake.
After visiting with all the guests, we played a cute game that I had never seen before: tiny plastic babies had been frozen into the middle of ice cubes. Each guest got a cube, and the goal was to be the first to "birth your baby"--free your baby from its protective "liquid" home--without using your mouth. It was hilarious to see a bunch of women trying to rub these little babies out of their ice cubes (and one woman just got up and poured hot water on the cube . . . I think she kind of missed the point). My sister was the first one to free her baby, and then she even took mine and freed it before anyone else had managed to get theirs out! I told her she must have missed her calling as a midwife.
We were definitely "showered" with gifts; everyone was so generous! We got much of our essential gear and tons of sweet books and hooded towels and so-soft blankets. I just can't wait to wrap her up and revel in her cuteness. The best part of the shower was having three of my four grandmothers together, having them take part in the celebration. I am so, so thankful to the hostesses for that wonderful afternoon.
Here are the stats for week 32!
How far along?: 32 weeks
Total weight gain: 19 lbs
How big is baby?: we only got to listen to her heartbeat at the last appointment, but the book says about 4 lbs, and we all know she's bigger than average . . . so . . . 4.5 lbs?
Maternity clothes?: Yes, and the number that fit are dwindling. I got a last-minute infusion of larger-sized hand-me-downs from my cousin, so I'm hoping that saves us from having to buy any more!
Stretch marks?: Still none . . . keeping my eyes peeled, though.
Sleep?: Some nights good, some nights not so good. The other morning I awoke around 5 with the worst nausea-burning-pain up behind my ribs. The only thing I can figure out is that she had kicked my stomach way up into my chest!
Best moment this week?: Being home with my family for the last time and having my mom, dad, and sister be able to feel Ali move.
Movement?: She is a mover and a shaker! TH finally got to feel one of her side-to-side rolls last night and he flipped! It is so much different than her punches and kicks. I'm hoping with all the head-down, head-up flipping she's still doing, that she settles in the next few weeks into a permanent head-down postion.
Food cravings?: Nope.
Labor signs?: Nada. Which is good. Don't think about that stuff for AT LEAST another 5-6-7 weeks, baby girl!
Belly button in or out?: Still in for the most part. Depending on what she's doing in there, sometimes the top lip will stick out. Other times, when she's moved around to a different position, it will be all-inny (and pretty deep!) again. Silly baby.
What I miss: Being able to walk without moving from side-to-side
What I'm looking forward to: Getting all her new gear organized and put away into her nursery
Milestone: Hitting the single-digit weekly countdowns! Almost there!
Then I heard that time would slow down in the third trimester, until every day, every moment stretched to eternity, waiting, wondering when labor would start, when baby would come and change our lives forever. Wrong again. If anything, time has certainly sped up! I cannot believe I am 32 weeks pregnant today! I cannot believe we only have 8 weeks to go until baby girl's official due date. It seems like we still have so many little details to take care of, and so little time, on a day-to-day basis, in which to take care of them. I'm sure our busy schedule has a great deal to do with how quickly time is traipsing along--each day filled to the brink with work and chores and travel and guests and showers and don't-forget-our-baby-to-do-list! (I can honestly say that, as difficult as it has been in the last couple of weeks keeping up with our own lives, I would MUCH rather have it be this way than the alternative . . . I tend to go CRAZY when there's nothing to do!)
Over the weekend I took my last trip home before baby girl makes her appearance. It was a strange feeling, driving back home, the same drive I've made a million times all through college and grad school and the rest of my 20s; sleeping in the bed I've slept in since 8th grade; getting ready in the bathroom I got ready for homecoming and prom in; and knowing it was the last time I would ever be in these areas without a daughter, seeing the big, round proof of her in the mirror I used to look into to get ready for dates with her daddy.
My mom's two best friends hosted a shower for us, and it was gorgeous! These ladies are decorating and crafting extraordinaires, and no detail was missed. There were tiny rubber duckies with pink bonnets tucked into flower arrangements, diaper cakes, name tags with little pink ribbons glued to the corner of each one, a clothes line with various baby goods strung across the fireplace (including an adorable sparkly pink tu-tu and a neon-green plastic baseball bat . . . the first time someone has correctly acknowledged the dichotomy that will be Ali!), a "flower arrangement" that was actually diapers and socks and washclothes, and a table full of delectable food, including cupcakes with pink sprinkles, finger sandwiches, veggies, fruit, cheese, chips, crackers, the works! I was totally blown away by their preparations and so touched that they would go through so much for our sake.
After visiting with all the guests, we played a cute game that I had never seen before: tiny plastic babies had been frozen into the middle of ice cubes. Each guest got a cube, and the goal was to be the first to "birth your baby"--free your baby from its protective "liquid" home--without using your mouth. It was hilarious to see a bunch of women trying to rub these little babies out of their ice cubes (and one woman just got up and poured hot water on the cube . . . I think she kind of missed the point). My sister was the first one to free her baby, and then she even took mine and freed it before anyone else had managed to get theirs out! I told her she must have missed her calling as a midwife.
We were definitely "showered" with gifts; everyone was so generous! We got much of our essential gear and tons of sweet books and hooded towels and so-soft blankets. I just can't wait to wrap her up and revel in her cuteness. The best part of the shower was having three of my four grandmothers together, having them take part in the celebration. I am so, so thankful to the hostesses for that wonderful afternoon.
Here are the stats for week 32!
How far along?: 32 weeks
Total weight gain: 19 lbs
How big is baby?: we only got to listen to her heartbeat at the last appointment, but the book says about 4 lbs, and we all know she's bigger than average . . . so . . . 4.5 lbs?
Maternity clothes?: Yes, and the number that fit are dwindling. I got a last-minute infusion of larger-sized hand-me-downs from my cousin, so I'm hoping that saves us from having to buy any more!
Stretch marks?: Still none . . . keeping my eyes peeled, though.
Sleep?: Some nights good, some nights not so good. The other morning I awoke around 5 with the worst nausea-burning-pain up behind my ribs. The only thing I can figure out is that she had kicked my stomach way up into my chest!
Best moment this week?: Being home with my family for the last time and having my mom, dad, and sister be able to feel Ali move.
Movement?: She is a mover and a shaker! TH finally got to feel one of her side-to-side rolls last night and he flipped! It is so much different than her punches and kicks. I'm hoping with all the head-down, head-up flipping she's still doing, that she settles in the next few weeks into a permanent head-down postion.
Food cravings?: Nope.
Labor signs?: Nada. Which is good. Don't think about that stuff for AT LEAST another 5-6-7 weeks, baby girl!
Belly button in or out?: Still in for the most part. Depending on what she's doing in there, sometimes the top lip will stick out. Other times, when she's moved around to a different position, it will be all-inny (and pretty deep!) again. Silly baby.
What I miss: Being able to walk without moving from side-to-side
What I'm looking forward to: Getting all her new gear organized and put away into her nursery
Milestone: Hitting the single-digit weekly countdowns! Almost there!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Baby's First Hiccups
Dear Baby Girl,
You got your very first hiccups today! (Well, as far as I can tell it was your first time.) You were quite agitated about 2 hours after lunch, squirming and rolling all around in there. And then *boom* a little bounce. Not your typical rolling movement. More like the little punches you used to give me when you had more room.
And then *boom* another bounce.
Then *boom* another.
And *boom* another.
They lasted about 2 minutes. Two minutes of little, perfectly timed bumps. You were still squirming a little in-between the perfectly timed thumps. I could tell that you didn't really like having the hiccups . . . or that you were just a little disconcerted about what was happening.
I, on the other hand, thought it was perfectly adorable.
Love,
Mom
You got your very first hiccups today! (Well, as far as I can tell it was your first time.) You were quite agitated about 2 hours after lunch, squirming and rolling all around in there. And then *boom* a little bounce. Not your typical rolling movement. More like the little punches you used to give me when you had more room.
And then *boom* another bounce.
Then *boom* another.
And *boom* another.
They lasted about 2 minutes. Two minutes of little, perfectly timed bumps. You were still squirming a little in-between the perfectly timed thumps. I could tell that you didn't really like having the hiccups . . . or that you were just a little disconcerted about what was happening.
I, on the other hand, thought it was perfectly adorable.
Love,
Mom
F is for Flexibility
There is an old fable about an old, thick, strong oak tree that was finally blown down by a powerful storm. Amazingly, the thin little reeds all around it were unharmed by the storm's fury. The oak tree asked the reeds, "How is it that I, a strong, thick tree, was blown over by the wind, but you thin little reeds were able to withstand it?" The reeds answered, "Instead of trying to stand up against the strength of the wind, we simply bent with it and survived."
I'm not talking about physical flexibility here baby girl, though you've already shown us in your ultrasounds with your feet up over your head that you are certainly very flexible right now! I'm talking about mental flexibility. The ability to bend with the currents of life. To go with the flow. To not get bent out of shape when something comes along that you weren't really planning on.
The ability to be flexible is perhaps one of the most challenging traits to master. If you set your mind on a goal, are determined, do everything you can to make that thing happen . . . it is so, so easy to become frustrated and upset when unforeseen circumstances come along and throw you for a loop you didn't expect.
That's why it's important to remember these two adages:
"Expect the unexpected," and "Over prepare, and then go with the flow."
If you learn to expect unforeseen circumstances to arise, then you won't be so caught off guard when they do. Few things in life go exactly as you had planned. There are simply too many variables, too many things left out of your control. Pretty much all you can do is prepare as much as you possibly can, and then be flexible.
There is the danger, of course, of being too flexible. If you never stand up for yourself, if you never speak up for what you want, you will be walked all over your entire life. There is a time to stand firm, and a time to be flexible. The key is to learn which time is which. When you are unsure, evaluate your priorities. What are you really trying to achieve? What is really the most important outcome to you? And most importantly, is it possible? Sometimes, no matter how much you want something, the strength of the wind blowing at you will simply be too strong for you to fight against. Pick your battles, and know when being flexible is really the key to success. It may simply be a question of biding your time or finding an alternate path.
You see? You even have to learn how to be flexible about being flexible.
If you can master the art of flexibility, of knowing when to stand firm and when to go with the flow, you will face so much less drama, so much less frustration, than if you try to fight every battle.
Know your priorities; know them well enough to know which are worth the fight and which aren't. Know yourself, but don't let that self, that ego, get in the way of your own happiness.
PS--physical flexibility is important, too. It will prevent many a pulled muscle.
I'm not talking about physical flexibility here baby girl, though you've already shown us in your ultrasounds with your feet up over your head that you are certainly very flexible right now! I'm talking about mental flexibility. The ability to bend with the currents of life. To go with the flow. To not get bent out of shape when something comes along that you weren't really planning on.
The ability to be flexible is perhaps one of the most challenging traits to master. If you set your mind on a goal, are determined, do everything you can to make that thing happen . . . it is so, so easy to become frustrated and upset when unforeseen circumstances come along and throw you for a loop you didn't expect.
That's why it's important to remember these two adages:
"Expect the unexpected," and "Over prepare, and then go with the flow."
If you learn to expect unforeseen circumstances to arise, then you won't be so caught off guard when they do. Few things in life go exactly as you had planned. There are simply too many variables, too many things left out of your control. Pretty much all you can do is prepare as much as you possibly can, and then be flexible.
There is the danger, of course, of being too flexible. If you never stand up for yourself, if you never speak up for what you want, you will be walked all over your entire life. There is a time to stand firm, and a time to be flexible. The key is to learn which time is which. When you are unsure, evaluate your priorities. What are you really trying to achieve? What is really the most important outcome to you? And most importantly, is it possible? Sometimes, no matter how much you want something, the strength of the wind blowing at you will simply be too strong for you to fight against. Pick your battles, and know when being flexible is really the key to success. It may simply be a question of biding your time or finding an alternate path.
You see? You even have to learn how to be flexible about being flexible.
If you can master the art of flexibility, of knowing when to stand firm and when to go with the flow, you will face so much less drama, so much less frustration, than if you try to fight every battle.
Know your priorities; know them well enough to know which are worth the fight and which aren't. Know yourself, but don't let that self, that ego, get in the way of your own happiness.
PS--physical flexibility is important, too. It will prevent many a pulled muscle.
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