A Cinderella Story

It's hard raising a girl. To be sure, it's hard raising any child, regardless of sex. But with a girl, there's a lot of extra "stuff" you have to navigate through--things like body issues, safety issues, sexual discrimination, wanting her to know it's okay to be smarter than boys, etc.

I've already written about making sure that my daughter knows that she's smart and funny and beautiful and nice. I make sure to reinforce this message with her daily. But sometimes it's still hard to know if all the messages that she's getting from society are overriding my daily efforts. If the "Princess phenomenon" will prove too strong for us to defeat.

Every time I tell her a story, I am careful to emphasize that it's often the girl doing the saving, not the boy. My stories have strong heroines, women who feature the personality traits I'd like to see developed in baby girl. But when she requests certain stories, like Cinderella, it's sometimes hard to work those angles in. Unfortunately, Disney stories are a wealth of females who are judged by their looks and need rescuing by men. So when I am asked to tell these stories, I try to mold the story a bit to avoid those less-than-desirable messages.

The other day, I was telling her Cinderella. I got to the part where Cinderella goes to the ball, saying, "And when Cinderella walked in, the Prince saw her and though, 'Wow! She's beautiful! I definitely want to get to know her better.' So he started talking to Cinderella, and do you know what he discovered? He discovered that not only was she beautiful, she was also really smart!"

"Just like me!" my daughter interrupted.

I could not possibly have smiled any bigger. "That's right!" I said. "She's smart just like you!"

"Yeah, I'm the smartest of all!" she said proudly.

"Yes, you are," I told her.

"Is Cinderella funny like me, too?" she asked.

"Yes, of course! She's smart and funny and nice, just like you!"

"Yeah. I'm the nicest, mommy!"

"Yes, you are!"

And I finished telling the story with my feet about ten feet off the ground.

Parenting is hard. Parenting a girl is harder. It's so great when you have these little flashes that let you know you're doing something right.