Thank God It's Halloween

Today is the first day I haven't gone to nurse Little Man at lunch.

In fact, like right now I should be in my car, driving over there.

In like five minutes, I would be sneaking past baby girl's room, where it's nap time but she's never napping, and putting on the blue shoe covers for the infant room, and going in and saying, "Hi, Sammy!!" with a huge smile and seeing the world's best smile in return. He'd kick his feet with glee and keep his eyes locked on me until he was in my arms.

Gosh me makes me feel good.

Then I'd go nurse him and snuggle him and make him laugh by playing peek-a-boo while I put my shirt back on. Then I'd sit and visit with his teacher for a few minutes and find out how his morning went.

But today none of that will happen. Today we are finally acknowledging that he is a growing boy and he doesn't need to eat every three hours anymore. Today we are finally letting his school schedule match his weekend schedule, when he's been going 3.5 to 4 hours between nursings for the last three or four weeks.

Which means that he'll no longer be eating at 12:30.

Which means that my days of going to nurse him--or even see him--during my lunch break are gone.

So today officially marks the longest I will have ever gone without seeing him during the day.

My heart hurts.

I'm self-medicating with chocolate.

Thank God it's Halloween and there's chocolate abounding.