4 months

Dear Little Man,

Today you are 4 months old. Sometimes that still sounds so young to me. Four months is still so tiny! Your dad and I find ourselves expecting things of you, things like sleeping for 12 hours straight and sitting up nicely for your baths. We forget that you are only 4 months old. And then on the other hand, sometimes 4 months sounds so old. You are already 4 months old?? That's 33% of the way through your first year! Already! We could already be starting solids (we aren't)! We could already be doing sleep training (we aren't)! We could be putting you to bed without a swaddle (we are. sigh.)!

Sometimes it feels like the first three months of a baby's life move in slow motion. That infant window is characterized largely by a squirmy, relatively helpless little baby who really just eats and sleeps. But then, you hit 3 months old and you start to wake up. You start to be able to do things. And time speeds up. From here on out, you will continue to astound us with the rate at which you acquire new abilities.

You started this month more like a newborn and you ended it more like a baby. You started being able to grab things this month. You reach out and grab whatever you want and bring it straight to your mouth to explore. You can pull the ring on your frog toy to make it play music. You found your feet and they are your favorite thing to grab. I positively adore this habit, as it curves you into a round little ball of baby sweetness and your roll around, grabbing your toes and gurgling and smiling and melting my heart. You have rapidly gained the strength you need to start sitting independently. You can tripod sit like a champ now, and can even sit upright for a few seconds on your own (before tipping headfirst into the carpet). And you started rolling from your back to your tummy. I have to admit, sweet boy, I wasn't quite ready for this big milestone yet. This is the "hard" way to roll, and it took your sister a full two months longer to do it! While I'm thrilled with your strength, it also means that we had to start deswaddling you a little bit sooner than we were ready to. But it was probably the right thing to do. You are incredibly strong and have been breaking out of your swaddle for weeks and weeks now. We even started double swaddling you, but not even that could hold you. You are as strong as your name suggests, and I have little doubt that you will continue to amaze me with your physicality.

As far as sleep goes, you're still waking up once a night (most nights) to eat. It's kind of like playing the nightly lottery. Your dad and I are never quite sure how the night is going to go. Sometimes you sleep six hours before waking. Sometimes you sleep almost 11 hours. Though the 11-hr nights are nice, I don't mind getting up to feed you. I know one day soon you won't wake up any more. You won't need me to come feed you, to come comfort you and snuggle. The night nursings are some of my favorite--they're so quiet and intimate and peaceful. We're also working with you on trying to get you to fall asleep on your own, without needing to be rocked. To be honest, this is one transition that's really hard for me. I love rocking you to sleep. I love seeing your sleeping face nestled snugly against the crook of my arm. I love holding you while you breath in and out so slowly and peacefully. I know it's important for you to learn to handle it on your own . . . but it's hard for me to let go of that aspect of your infancy.

Aside from the physical, you have positively blossomed this month. You are the smiliest, giggliest, chillest little man I could have imagined! We had some friends over for dinner the other night and they kept commenting on how they kept forgetting that there was a baby in the room! You are so content to just bounce in your bouncer and chew on your fingers or toys and watch the world around you. When you're awake, you're happy. The only time you ever really cry is when we're trying to get you to go to sleep. I think it's just because you're so happy with your life that you just want to be awake and enjoying it. I get that, little man. I really do.

Perhaps my absolute favorite thing that you do now is reaching for me when I go to pick you up. You don't have full control over your arms quite yet, so you don't reach up with your hands. Instead, you break into a huge smile and arch your back. It's like you're reaching up for me with your whole body and it makes me die of happiness every time.

I can't believe you're sitting. And rolling. And grabbing. And laughing. And charming the socks off of everyone you meet. I can't believe how adorable you are.

I can't believe you're already . . . and only . . . four months old.

Love love love everything about you,
Mom