3 Months

Dear Little Man,

Today you are 3 months old. It's a milestone--the passing from the "newborn" into the ever-so-much-more-grown-up "baby" phase. I no longer have a newborn. My newborn, the little man who used to sleep snuggled into the nape of my neck, is now a big, rolling, alert, smiling, laughing, talking little baby.

That's right! You are a big, healthy boy. You moved into 3-6 month sleepers a couple of weeks ago because you are so long, and now are in 3-6 month sizes of all the other clothes as well. I love pinching your sweet thigh and wrist chubs. (And don't worry . . . that's something that only goes along with the baby phase, and one day, in the not too distant future, you will have outgrown that, too.) Your bald newborn days are gone, your hair growing in thick and golden. I can't believe I have a little blond boy. You steal my heart in ways I never expected.

You are such an alert little man! Even your teachers at school send home notes commenting on what a social baby you are, how confident and engaging and talkative. You love to watch everything that is going on around you, and your new favorite thing is to watch your sister play. You are so content to sit and watch her and listen to her, with a giant smile lighting up your face every time. And she is more and more smitten with you every day. She is constantly wanting to hug you and kiss you, and more and more she's asking for you to be able to participate in her play. Yesterday we were all practicing jumping, and she kept asking for you to jump with us. I can't wait until the two of you can play together--you are going to be such amazing friends!

You are cooing and gooing and making the "m" sound already (maybe we'll get "mama" before "dada" this time?). We can sit for 10 or 15 minutes at a time and just talk back and forth to each other. You are so expressive--you already use so many expressions and volumes during our conversations, I can only imagine all the passions inside you are expressing! You are going to be an amazing orator. And your laugh--what a cute giggle it is!! You are so easily entertained, so easily amused. I love making you laugh by making funny faces and funny noises at you. The other day I was sticking my tongue out at you, and you copied me! You are such a smart little man. You impress me every day! 

You rolled over for the first time this month (and the second, third, fourth, and fifth time)! You made it look so easy. Far from the usual first roll, where the child gets frustrated and stuck halfway and has to flail and kick their leg to make it all the way over, you quickly figured out that leading with your head would create the momentum necessary to roll over in one fluid motion! I am so glad I was able to catch it on video. You are also starting to bat at and reach for things (one of my favorites is how you wrap your little fist around the strap of my tank top while I feed you). I love how exciting the first year is with all its big milestones!

You have adapted well to being at school all day--better than I've adapted to being at work. Though you had a hard time sleeping through all the light and noise at first, you are starting to feel more comfortable there and fall into a rhythm. On the other hand, I still miss you terribly each and every minute of the day. I miss being the one you talk to all day long, I miss being the one to feel your feet in their ever-moving kick-kick-kicks. I miss singing to you while I change your diaper and I miss being the one to rock you to sleep for your naps. I know that you are growing up, and that being in a different environment where you'll learn new things will only be good for you. But I miss our newborn days together.

Your sleep is still hit or miss. We usually have you asleep by 8 p.m. and then do one more dream feed around 9:30 (I feed you one more time without really waking you up). After that, you usually sleep 'til anywhere from 2:30 a.m. to 6 a.m. Your dad used to be able to go in and rock you back to sleep himself, but more and more you are waiting to go back to sleep until I come in to feed you. Considering I'm getting up to pump around midnight, some nights this means I'm only sleeping in 2-hour chunks all night long. But you know what? I don't mind. I'm tired all the time and dream of sleeping in long, glorious stretches, but the nights that your dad has offered to give you a bottle so that I can stay asleep, I always say no. I know that one day, in the not-too-distant future, you won't need me to come and snuggle with you in the middle of the night anymore. You are already growing up so fast--I don't mind hanging onto this part of our relationship just a little while longer. In the small hours of the morning, after I've fed you and you have drifted back to sleep, I hold your peaceful, sweet body in my arms just a few minutes before putting you back to bed. I love holding you while you sleep. It's a moment that exists just between the two of us, and I will always look back on those moments with such love.

So here we are. Three months old. The newborn phase behind us, the baby phase and all that it entails--rolling and crawling and teething and pulling up and solid food and sippy cups and first words and first steps--ahead of us.

Thank you for the wonderful three newborn months. I have loved every second.

Smoochies on your baby chubs,
Mom