Me, Pregnant

I figured at least one post needs to be dedicated to capturing how my body is handling being pregnant. You know, all the fun symptoms and stuff. Already I catch myself worrying about a certain twinge or cramp, only to remember that very same feeling was very common two weeks ago (and certainly nothing to worry about). So if I can get down all the ways I feel, all the things that are different, maybe for my next kid I can read this and remember that I've done it all before. (Although they say that every pregnancy is different, and this likely won't have any bearing or relevance whatsoever on the bakings of future buns.)

Cramps
I was crampy from about 7 DPO to about 9 weeks. The types of cramps ranged...the first ones felt just like AF cramps--achy and widespread. This type was most prevalent in the beginning, but have made reappearances throughout these first two months, most notably at week 7. Then there was one that was in a line right down the middle of my ute area. There have been pointed, painful cramps that seem to only appear in certain spots (the spot on the right side seems most common). And then there are the ones I sometimes get when I stand up to quickly, a lightening, intense pain on the right side of my ute that causes me to catch my breath and double over (we called the nurse about that one...something about my ligaments stretching out...not fun).

Energy
I haz none. It started around week 4 with a general feeling of fuzzy headedness, of not being able to concentrate at work in the afternoons. I started being very ok with spending a great deal of our evening and weekend time on the couch watching recorded shows or movies on HBO. (For anyone who knows me well, this is a total 180 from how I used to feel about doing "nothing" on the weekends!) There were a couple of nights I went to bed by 8. There was one day at about 7 weeks I went home from work at lunch and slept from about 2:30 until the next morning (getting up for dinner of course). For the most part I haven't been sleeping the 12 hours I hear other people getting. It's been pretty consistent at 9 or 10, a significant increase from my usual 7. But the sleep that I am getting is rarely quality sleep. I toss and turn, unable to find a comfortable position. I get up to pee one or two times a night. My temperature fluctuates and I got from sweaty and hot with the blankets on to shivering when I throw them off. And, like this morning, I have to get up and eat something by about 7 or else I feel crap-tastic. No more sleeping in for me. Maybe this is just training.

Nausea
Relatively speaking, I have been very lucky in this department. I haven't suffered the constant nausea I hear others having, much less any kind of intense sickness. In fact, I didn't feel bad at all until about half-way through week 6. Then it was just kind of a general feeling of malaise, like a light, light sea-sickness that just never went away...coupled with my lack of energy, it felt like I was eternally just getting over the flu. It has gotten slowly worse over the last four weeks, where now I actually feel sick to my stomach if I don't eat something about every 2 hours. My "morning sickness" has turned out to be evening sickness. My condition slowly deteriorates throughout the day until the last couple of hours at work are miserable, and the only reason the evening hours are any better is because I can put on pajamas when I get home at 6 and curl up on the couch. I have actually gotten sick (thrown up) only 3 times--twice in the evening because I didn't eat in time to keep the sickness at bay, and once in the morning a couple of weeks ago...I don't count that one though because I was trying to clear my throat (we are just emerging from Austin allergy season) and my gag reflex is on overdrive these days. So, very lucky in this department and I'm hoping that since it didn't really start until so late, I only have a few weeks of feeling this way until I start coming out of it in the second tri.

Food Cravings/Aversions
This, like all my other symptoms, has been very gradually developing. For about the first 8 weeks, I could pretty much eat anything, but there was only one thing that REALLY sounded good, and if I got to eat that one thing, it was the best tasting food EVER. The last two weeks, it's gotten to be more and more that I don't really want to eat anything (which does not go so smoothly with the eat-every-2-hours rule). I can usually find something that is acceptable, but things have stopped sounding good for the most part. And certain things I can't even begin to try. For example, fresh spinach now make me gag. I'm so sad about that. I loved spinach. The other night, after throwing up, I knew I needed to eat something, but once again nothing sounded good...except Ruffles potato chips. So we headed to the store, and this is what we ended up buying:
Canadian bacon (for my morning breakfast tacos...mmm...), Ruffles chips, ranch dip, cake mix, and two tubs of rainbow chip icing. I looked down at our selections on the way to the checkout and burst out laughing. If ever I needed an outward confirmation that I AM pregnant, it was that shopping trip.

My Emotions
Like the others, this has been something that has really become more noticeable in the last couple of weeks. In the beginning, I was just stressed about being pregnant. I was easily irritated at things like TH not re-washing the vegetables (even if the package said that they were triple washed and ready to eat). He learned to not be easily offended by me being short with him. I was nervous about everything--what I was eating, what I was drinking, if everything was ok, etc. I felt so much better after our first appointment, after I saw that little heartbeat. The irritability has now slid into easily saddened. I often feel like I'm on the brink of tears but I have no idea why (this is especially confusing and amusing when it happens when I'm at work). When we do get into an argument, the tears flow with a torrential intensity. I feel bad about myself when I can no longer do things that I used to do without thinking twice--lifting heaving things, helping TH unload and install the new washer/dryer, going for a long sunrise bikeride, etc. I drove by a restaurant the other evening that had a great patio area and saw a big group of yuppies obviously just off work hanging out and laughing and drinking and I was suddenly so sad, so nostalgic, thinking of all the great happy hours I had been to over the years with all my great coworkers. It's not that I'm not excited about what we have in store for us...I'm just gradually mourning the life that has been left behind.

I am still not quite letting myself get too carried away by enthusiasm. I think part of it has to do with my nervousness over making it through the first tri. I am a worrier, a planner by nature, and I don't want to get caught throwing caution to the wind when I know better. I am counting the hours until our next appointment, until we get to see Cosmo looking like a developing baby and not just a little fluttering jellybean. I am counting the hours until we can tell the world, tell our coworkers and hair dressers and neighbors. I think that keeping the secret is part of what makes me--keeps me--nervous.

So, all in all, a pretty easy time of it so far, and I am so thankful for that!