11 months

Sweet boy,

Today,  you are 11 months old.

And momma's in total denial.

Total denial about all the subtext and context that goes along with "11 months." Total denial that that means you'll be ONE in just one short month. Total denial that this is the last month I can call you a "baby" (though the title "toddler" is appropriate this month, too. More on that and other random heart attacks you give me later). Total denial that, despite my yearning for a super power that allows me to stop time whenever I like, days pass in a blur and it has already been 11 MONTHS since we first met.

Where last month was calm and stable, this month was back to your wild, exciting, keep-mom-and-dad-on-their-toes ways. In the biggest news of all, you took your first steps!!! You had had one or two here and there, but nothing consistent. And then one evening we were trying to get your to take steps to Dad, and you turned mid-attempt and took two solid steps over to the coffee table. I knew something was likely coming soon, because you went from standing on your own for 3-5 seconds to standing on your own for a minute or more in about three days. I love those developmental leaps. I love the excitement of seeing you master big new skills in such a small amount of time! So you have gotten great at standing, and I knew the steps were coming. After you took those first two to the table, you've done it again and again. The most we've seen in a row is four, and you have to be very distracted and motivated to do it (otherwise you just drop down and crawl your little speed crawl), but it's real and legitimate and I can't believe you started walking at 10 months. (Looks like your dad won the bet with Granddaddy afterall!)

You are still a climber, which continues to give me heart attacks on a daily basis. You are very close to being able to climb out of the pack-and-play that we keep you in for CONTAINMENT purposes. Once you figure out an escape from there, we are done for. And you're still fearless. The other day you climbed up a stool, onto a chair, stood up, turned around, and dove off. I have to be on my toes with one eye on you at all times so that I can keep catching you as you dive headfirst off things. Crazy boy! 

Your verbal skills are also developing rapidly. You are starting to mimic our intonations and words. Animals sounds like "meow" and "woof woof" are met with adorable attempts to repeat, which usually results in a close semblance of the intonation, but nothing really close to the actual sounds. But I know what you're trying to do, and I think it's pretty much the cutest thing ever, so we spend our day with you pointing to things--trees, doors, cars, birds, cats, books--and me telling you their name and giving you a sound if it fits. You've added "uh oh!" to your verbal repertoire, and I can't even be mad when you drop something for the gazillionth time because it's always followed with the sweetest "uh oh!" and a totally pleased-with-yourself smile. I swoon. And give you thing item back so that you can drop it and charm me again.

You've been sick again this month--picked up another something or other at school, which then proceeded to snowball into picking up more and more things as your immune defenses were low. We've decided to pull you out of school for a while to try and get your system strengthened, which means that I'll be staying home with you. It was never in my plans to stay home. I have always loved working, have always loved the extra challenge that has nothing to do with my role as a mother or wife. But these last few days with you, where we have time to have picnics by the lake and watch the ducks, run errands, play, practice walking, and jabber back and forth to each other, have been so delightfully refreshing and easy compared to my usual frenzied pace. I know we won't have a lot of time home together, and I know it wasn't in my plans, but I think this change is going to be just the thing we need and that we're going to love this new arrangement.

In one month, you're going to be one. One whole year old. You'll be walking and talking and officially a toddler and not so much a baby anymore. So for this month, I'm going to soak you up in all your sweet baby glory. I'm going to burn into memory the feel of your small baby body in my arms as I rock you to sleep. The perfect way you fit on my hip as I carry you. The way your tiny hands and fingers feel as they hang onto my shirt. Your sweet voice, your sweet baby "uh ohs" and "woahs!" The sight of you as you speed crawl across the floor, putting your head down to focus on moving your limbs as fast as you can get them to go. The look of delight on your face when you feel the wind or see a bird take off in flight or hear your sister's voice and come crawling through the house searching for her. Next month will begin a new chapter, but this month . . . this month I'm just going to enjoy THIS chapter for all it's worth.

Loving you from the tips of your toes to the top of your sweet blonde head,
Mom