1 Month

Dear Samson,

Today you are one month old. A whole month has already passed since you gave me the most amazing day of my life. In some ways--many ways--it feels impossible that that much time has already passed. In other ways, it seems impossible that you've only been with us for a month. Life without you is already hard to remember and seems very, very long ago.

You are such an incredibly sweet baby. You started smiling so early--just two weeks old! Your favorite things to smile at are the ceiling fans, the wrought iron on the living room wall, and when my or your dad's face comes suddenly into view. You face is a pool of amusement and delight, and it makes my heart explode with my own pure delight. What a gift to feel all the pure emotions of infant love, unclouded by anything the world throws at us.

Your favorite thing in the entire world is snuggling. You bury your face into the corner of my neck and shoulder and breathe in heavily and sigh. I will never forget the feeling of your face in that spot. And no matter what time of day it is, no matter if it's time for a diaper change or a nap or it's the dead of night after a 3 a.m. feeding, I always, always, always stop and savor your sweet snuggles. I know now how fleeting this time together is. I know how short a time it will be before you are crawling and walking and talking and wanting to do your own thing. I know that every sweet snuggle is a moment in time that will soon be gone forever, that I will never have a chance for that particular snuggle ever again, so I stop and I smile and I tilt my head onto yours and we sit and breathe in each other and the world stops, just for us, just for a moment.

You are proving to us that we got your name exactly right. You are such a strong little man. The day you were born you were already trying to hold your head up, and you are always kicking and pushing your legs against me, trying to stand up and bear your own weight. You are growing so quickly and are proving to me that I can trust you and not worry about how much you're eating or how much weight you're gaining. You are calm and observant and always easily soothed. You love your warm baths so far, only crying when it's time to come out of the warm, relaxing water. And you are a wonderful sleeper. We only have to get up once a night to feed you, and you go right back to sleep until the morning. Your dad and I are really, really appreciative of that.

Your big sister dotes on you and is already so protective of you. You are the first thing she asks about when she wakes up in the morning and when she gets home from school, and she always insists on kissing you good morning and good night. When she hears you crying (usually during a diaper change), she says, "Baby Sammy's mad. It's okay, baby Sammy. It's okay." And she loves to sit next to us while I nurse you, drinking her own milk. She points out that both you and her are drinking milk, and then nods and smiles, as if satisfied in your shared moment together.

I was nervous about what the first month would be like. Nervous about what you would be like. Nervous about how we'd handle life with a newborn and a toddler. You have made our first month so wonderful. So easy. So full of joy. So full of love.

Already I can't remember life without you, and already I feel like you're growing up so fast. Thank you for being who you are, a chill little man, a sweet, sweet snuggler, the perfect baby for letting me relax and soak up the wonder of the newborn days before they're gone for good.

Love, love, love you,
Mom